Updated: Apr 13, 2022
When I was young I always thought FEAR was the opposite of LOVE.
Maybe that is because as a young child we do not really experience the feeling of 'hate or anger', although we do learn fear over time. Today I realised it is not . . .
‘FEAR IS NOT THE OPPOSITE OF LOVE. FEAR IS THE OPPOSITE OF FAITH!’
When one has FAITH - then FEAR can no longer exist!
To believe that all is well, even when our own perspective doesn’t realise this - is a key to unlocking the beautiful gift of faith. For Faith reminds us that we are always one with love! Even when we feel that we are being separated from it for a moment in time. Indeed, it is having the Faith to believe in this at all times, that is one of our greatest tests and a test that will bring a sense of purpose to whatever point that we find ourselves in at our most vulnerable in life.
Yes - GOD IS LOVE.
But not necessarily a God that has a male face, or holds a book of worship, or sits in one chapel or church instead of another.
I personally took those words literally - even as a child - that GOD is actually LOVE itself...the purest form of love:
LOVE as ENERGY Having Faith in the one - Faith in GOD (or whatever you prefer to 'name' it that divine higher power) - is having faith in LOVE itself...
Have Faith and Fear dissolves.
I remember this realisation dawning on me six years ago and thought it relevant for me to share it today. As I look back over those 6 years I recognise what a journey I have been on since then! Over that time, as I have been guided on my own journey to self-healing and self-discovery, I have been shown moments of great faith in my life and moments that I felt completely disconnected from God, Source, All-that-is, or whatever name you prefer to give that greater power. How powerful the sense of being connected, or disconnected is! It turns out to be one of the greatest and most powerful motivators for how we see ourselves and the World within which we live. Feeling connected - a part of something bigger than ourselves - is an essential ingredient to our health and well-being. The sense of being isolated, disconnected and separate is a powerful, and fearful state, albeit that it is, of course, an illusion.
Love is the primary emotion through which we are connected to the World around us. As children we love unconditionally, those we are connected to: our birth or foster parents, our friends and family. Our safety and security are defined by the World we inhabit, and strong bonds with our parents, family and social group are all part of the sense of safety and security and self-identity that we build about what and who we are.
Love is how we go on to connect with important people, places and events throughout the rest of our lives.
Love is the strong bond that we activate through our own energy system that keeps us 'connected' to those people, places and events that define us, that keep us feeling safe, and in touch with who and what we see ourselves as.
Without those strong bonds of love, we become disconnected, we become adrift - and 'lost'.
Not just because we are disconnected to the important people in our lives, but because we have lost the connection with our own hearts, our own emotional connection to everything around us.
It is this emotional, heart-based energy of love that tells us what we are passionate about, what is important to us, and without it, we are disconnected from our own passion and ability to connect with the heart of who we really are!
And so, without love, the World can seem to be a fearful place. A lonely place. A place of struggle and isolation. Where a person can feel completely alone, no matter how many people surrounds them, or how busy or 'full' their life may appear.
From here, 'Faith' is a place to begin to rebuild ones own connection with who they truly are.
Not 'Religion', but faith, trust, belief.
Seeing the greater picture. Recognising that there is a never ending connection between all things, all people, all places.
It is an exercise of faith to CHOOSE to begin to see the elements that join us together, that connect us to each other; rather than remaining in a reality that mainly sees the gulf of separation between us.
The choice to stay disconnected, or to choose to reconnect with the World around us is one that we can only make from the inside.
I feel it is important here to recognise that there are many ways that a person can feel 'disconnected', and that it is not necessarily easy for an outsider to see how another person is experiencing life:
It is completely possible to feel isolated and alone even if you have a big family around you, if you live in a 'strong' community and appear to have a huge network of loving and supportive people around you.
Because it is not what is on the outside that defines your experience - BUT WHAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING WITHIN that defines your experience of 'connection' or 'disconnection' to the World around you.
It is also possible that you can be married, have children and appear to everyone else to have a happy family environment. Yet you may still feel isolated, disconnected at a deep level from those around you. Not because you don't love them, but because on some deep level it is unsafe for you to be completely connected, or invested through the energy of love (not the emotion), in the World around you.
Past traumatic events can also cause disconnection to the World within which we find ourselves living: physical and sexual abuse, neglect and childhood abuse, bullying and many other traumatic or stressful events can cause this kind of disconnection, and ultimately steal away our ability to connect 'heart-fully' with others, in a way which keeps us fearful and closes down our hearts ability to make the heart connections which are the life blood of a completely full and connected life.
These type of 'disconnections' are driven by beliefs such as: "the World is an unsafe place"; "people cannot be trusted"; "I am not truly safe here", or even "I am an outsider", and therefore "people do not understand me".
All of these thoughts and beliefs can exist in someone who is otherwise living a 'normal' life to any observer.
The Body-Mind-Emotion link
I was taught much of this lesson through my own thyroid condition, Hashimoto's, which is an auto-immune condition which completely destroys the thyroid gland and therefore completely affects the body's ability to create important metabolic hormones, leaving sufferers completely unable to function properly on many levels - physical sluggishness, difficulty in staying awake, mental fog, potentially adrenal and heart problems, infertility, miscarriages, other auto-immunity issues, the list goes on and on.
The body is constantly directed and orchestrated to function in a way that will best serve our overall purpose, and is also designed to primarily withstand and overcome threats of danger. It will do this in the best way that seems possible, given the danger that it is perceiving. It will also put 'survival' at the top of the list of 'jobs to do', so any situation that the mind or emotions perceive as even slightly 'life-threatening' will over-ride other biological tasks.
If this threat of danger is present every day, even if it is a reasonably 'low level' threat, it will initiate an ongoing biological response to try to keep us 'safe' for that period of time.
The miracle of disease That our body is so perfectly created that it is able to decipher danger or decode sights, sounds, smells and feelings that initiate an instant emotional, psychological and biological response to that stimulus is frankly amazing! It means that our bodies are constantly operating on an intelligence that is orchestrating every function within the body - and is doing so without our conscious involvement in the process: There is the first Miracle!
That we are given opportunity after opportunity to re-experience those things which cause us to experience pain through our fear is also a second Miracle. The miracle that the Universe has set up for us to be able to experience the outcome of our perception again and again, in order for us to decide if this is indeed the experience that we wish to have as our life. (Here I know is where I am in danger of losing those who cannot believe that pain or fear would be a part of the great plan for our highest ascension and good). So please bear with me...
Every moment of painful disconnection and fear is a moment that we are given the opportunity to choose how we will react in that moment - to accept love and grace into our lives, or to embrace the fear and look at what it is trying to show us: what it is trying to teach us, to illuminate our awareness and bring to our consciousness. There is the choice - in every moment - to choose love and grace through surrender, which is the fruit of faith; or the pain we experience through fear - through the battle against our situation. There is the third miracle! That we do have a choice! That we do not need to continue to have the painful experience that keep us feeling isolated or 'separate' from the World around us. We can choose a different path.
Our choices define us and our experience - we have the option to choose - and in this choice we become empowered to redefine our self and our experience.
The place of being outside of faith is a painful and lonely place to be - and very frightening. Especially when we are suffering a long or painful illness. Indeed the illness itself can even reinforce the sense of separation and therefore the fear we feel.
But this place, as dark as it may seem is an opportunity to embrace love and life. To choose a different experience - to choose to have a different perception or response to our situation, our environment, our inner experience.
I know that is not how it feels when we are there! Trust me, I was there on and off for much of twenty years with my own disease of hypothyroidism.
Although hypothyroidism is not a life-threatening illness, it is a disorder that 'steals' away your ability to live an active and complete life.
So let me try to illuminate that statement, and put it into the context of this writing: I personally do not remember many family moments - holidays spent together, parties and special occasions, birthdays and celebrations - along with the daily joys of being 'present' in my life from moment to moment! As the symptoms of Hypothyroidism took me away from the place of being fully 'present' - my mind became absent and my body unresponsive. Hypothyroidism is a little like feeling that your body is just slowly 'shutting down'. That you are there, but not there: it is like living a life where we are present in the flesh, but not the spirit.
Indeed, after my body began its recovery, part of my own healing process was recognising and honouring the anger that arose from the feeling of having had a large part of my life 'taken' from me!
But eventually, and with the tools I have learned and now share with others - EFT, Meta-Health, Matrix Re-imprinting, Colour Mirrors and my own Crystal Moon Essences, I have emerged into a place of love and gratitude - yes gratitude - even for the sickness that I have experienced.
For in fear and in pain, we are shown where we are most out of alignment with our own sense of self - our core essence! Which is of course, oneness with all things.
Connection with all things My greatest and most loving self would like to tell you that we are never separate. We are never isolated or alone!
It would like to tell you that it is not possible for any of us living here on this Earth to be disconnected from all things.
But my wounded past self knows that these words are difficult to accept when we are in that place.
So it is a series of small steps that combine to create the journey that we need to take if we want to try to reconnect with life, with the World.
The first step is to decide that you want to make a change - that is indeed the biggest step!
To acknowledge that the current situation is not making you happy, and that you have the choice to make a change! To simply make the commitment and the promise to yourself that you are now choosing a different way to see things, to live and experience your life.
Begin with a simple affirmation every day, for example you might say: "I am the powerful creator in my own life, and I choose to recognise and see how I am connected to all things through the energy of love itself". You may choose to make any positive affirmation, but ensure that it has no 'negative' words in it - the affirmation should only use positive and uplifting words.
You can also choose to dedicate your day to one positive emotion or feeling for that day - and spend a few moments at the beginning of your day just tapping on that positive emotion. Set the intention to keep that energy for the day. If something happens that challenges that, do not berate yourself, but simply recognise it and decide to choose how to respond. Give yourself a moment or two to breath through that negative emotion or experience and then you can always tap on setting your new positive emotion again.
The act of Gratitude is another daily practice that can help us to connect to the positive and beautiful moments that are already present in our lives. Reinforcing and acknowledging those moments is one way to connect with them and to encourage the mind to 'see' that we are already having the positive experiences that we wish to make more of in our lives.
Hailey Bartholomew started the wonderful 365 Grateful project in 2008, which is a lovely project to tap into and get some inspiration to help you in your own gratitude journaling.
Reigniting the Heart Flame Within
In order to be able to re-ignite our own sense of passion, there needs to be a journey of reigniting the heart flame within. This is a journey to the heart of our being. It is a journey that means that we will need to move into and through the most painful part of our past experiences. To open up that part of us which is most damaged, isolated and that is keeping itself hidden, in order to try to remain 'safe'.
Hiding away the wounded parts of ourself is a great survival strategy, but it does not allow for any type of healing to occur.
Reigniting the Heart Flame within is a way for you to connect to the true essence of what truly nourishes you and makes you happy. It is a commitment to yourself to find what truly brings you joy and to find that which speaks to the energy of your heart, in order to bring that back into your everyday life and to begin to reawaken your heart field: the energy of unconditional LOVE as you allow it to pour out from your heart into the World around you.
If you would like to receive direct coaching and support from me as you embark upon this journey, I would very much love to help you. The energy work that I do does not mean that we have to open up past painful traumas and start to look at them in all their detail, but it does mean that we acknowledge that they are there, and begin the work of healing how and where our body is 'storing' that energy. For even if we believe that we have hidden our painful past away in our mind, the body will remember - it will store it away as being highly important information - precisely because it is the body's job to KEEP YOU SAFE until you do find a solution to the danger your body perceives in a truly complete and 'embodied' way. By that I mean that your body has literally 'embodied' the change of energy, the shift of awareness of any experience from one of painful trauma, to one of a completely harmonious understanding that is coherent within both the unconscious mind and the conscious mind!
When we allow ourselves to feel that we can safely begin the work of exploring our fears, we begin the work of healing from them.
As we do this, we allow those parts of ourselves that have kept hidden, or separate, to re-emerge and to once again connect with the outside world.
This is not unlike the seed of a flower that begins to emerge from the dark earth, with tiny green shoots that at first are tender and new, but that shortly become strong enough to hold the flower head upon its top, which in turn opens up to receive the light of the sun, and to shine its unique and delicate inner beauty out into the World.
And this is how it feels to emerge from the dark disconnection of fear. To discover what and who we truly are, and then give ourselves the permission that it is safe and timely to allow our own 'flowering' into the World to take place.
Final thoughts For those living in fear now, I would simply say that all things end, and that when we feel most vulnerable, lost and alone is when we are being given the opportunity to choose between living a life fully, without fear, or living a half life, where we never come to a place of fully knowing or recognising our self.
Whatever choice we make is completely right...there is no judgement in either of these choices either. I would urge everyone to remember that each persons individual choice is perfect for where they are right now - do not berate others, or yourself for feeling as you do, or making the choices you make.
Above all, Love yourself and be kind to yourself.
You and I are doing the best we possibly can at any given moment.
We must be where are now, because it is where we need to be, until it is the right time for us to choose a different path.
Lastly, even the difficult and darker parts of our life have a perfect reason to be a part of our life! They carry an important aspect of learning for us. It is in the darkness, in the 'frozen moment' that we are given our chance to face the fear and do it anyway, to let go and to embrace what emerges and learn to love whatever we find there.
This is why finding and facing our fears is so important in the work that I do - for in that darkest moment is the gift of light, of love and of freedom...if we choose to take it.
I wish to you Faith. The belief that everything is perfect - even in the difficult moments that seem to be imperfect. The knowledge that there is a divine consciousness and perfection to it all, and that you are a part of it all. To be empowered by the awareness that you may choose how you want to see your own situation and how you want to create your own life experience. The beauty of gratitude, positive feeling and thinking in your days, and most of all I wish you the heart-healing energy of LOVE.
With love and Light to all