The Pain of Forgetting

Paulo Coelho — "Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering."

Mind Fog: uncovering the biological purpose of this hypothyroid symptom

The mind fog experienced in hypothyroidism is one of the singular most debilitating and emotionally painful symptoms that I personally experienced with the 20 year dysfunction of my thyroid gland.

When we look at diseases or illnesses in Meta Health, we always look at the individual symptoms that a person is experiencing.

This is because individually our bodies find ways of responding appropriately to our individual situation and thought processes, because we all 'take in' information differently, and we all interpret that information in different ways.

So whilst many of the same symptoms accompany a specific disease, not all people suffer from the same symptoms that are associated with that disease, and not all people always suffer from those same symptoms continuously.

For some people with hypothyroid dysfunction, brain fog will not be an issue, but for others it can affect their lives monumentally. On top of which, it is a very difficult and 'ephemeral' type of symptom that other people just don't understand. One way of helping other people to understand the huge impact of hypothyroid brain fog is to relate it to 'alzheimers', which many people now understand and know about. In Meta Health terms, understanding the underlying causes of our symptoms, it is on the same 'spectrum' as brain fog.

For me the mind fog is one aspect of the last twenty years that really did strip me of my sense of self, my worth and probably worst of all, my memories.

I have spoken previously about how many of the individual memories of my children's early childhood seem to have been taken from my memory. It is also true that at that time I was also barely able to function in a 'normal' way. Most basic cognitive functions seemed often impossible. I found it hard to focus, to think over complex situations or thoughts, to do mental math or other cognitive processes, I found it hard to remember dates and times, or to keep appointments; even reminders that I set for myself 30 minutes or an hour before important meetings or appointments would slip through the net of my mind, as within minutes of turning off any alarm or reminder, my mind had progressed to another thought and 'lost' the time or the need to act in order to get to an appointment on time. Forgetting was normal and it happened frequently and even immediately after I remembered something important.

The aspect of time just slipping away and the loss of focus were huge aspects of the experience of mind fog.

The act of 'getting it' and 'for-getting' it Most people think we forget after an event.

But in fact, the act of forgetting happens BEFORE an event - not after it!

It is only afterwards that we recognise that we have forgotten something - its not where the forgetting actually happened!

When we 'get something', we ultimately "go out into the world and then bring something back into us, our own environment and claim it as our own" - this is true, whether it is getting a thing, or getting a thought - we "get it!"

The process of 'getting it' involves us moving beyond a place that we already exist in - whether physically getting up and going to get something in order to bring it to where we already are; or in terms of our mind, and thinking - we are required to move beyond the understanding that we already have, to expand our thinking and our perspective and move beyond the boundaries of what we are familiar with. At that point we are expanding our possible understanding and how our mind works, and we suddenly reach a point where we 'get it'! We have a new idea, or a new understanding.

In each case we have moved beyond where we started and reached out to gain something new, or something extra in order to bring it back into ourselves and give ourselves something more than we had before we 'got it'!

For my meta health purposes I want to use the word play on 'for-get'.

Thinking about the word for-get - I want us to concentrate on the first part of the word for: as in before something happens before; afore, or in front of something.

I want us to consider the action we do before we 'get it'.

BEFORE we act and go out into the world, moving beyond our current 'safe' place, we must consider our current situation, and the situation that we are considering putting ourselves into in order to go and get what we want. Physically is it safe to get what we want, and the same applies mentally - even to an idea! Ideas are powerful! And moving beyond something we are comfortable knowing and believing, into a strange new possibility can be scary in some situations.

Thinking about what our mind and body considers subconsciously, before we act is an important part of understanding why brain fog is a symptom of hypothyroidism.

It is the pre-frame of 'getting' something that is outside of our normal boundaries (and is therefore strange, scary or unacceptable) that stops us from 'getting' anything (because 'getting it' would potentially be uncomfortable, or dangerous).

It is an action that stops us acting, before we even begin!

Something about the action of going out and getting has become dangerous for us - our body and mind has shut down to such a degree that we are unable to 'think' clearly, because the act of 'thinking' itself - of trying to work out what is safe or unsafe has become unbearable, or potentially dangerous (in case we do "get" a solution).

This is largely an unconscious process, and in many ways may not relate to the individual things that we are forgetting in our daily life. Picking up the kids isn't dangerous, or remembering a dental appointment, or returning library books on time etc. But there will be an underlying ongoing issue that we are unable to chose how to act appropriately on, which will, over time, become the root cause of the brain 'fogging over' every aspect of our life and our memory function becoming impaired.

In this way, its biological function in meta health is to stop action before it begins by disabling our ability to remember or cognitively function and form a plan of action to do something which might otherwise be dangerous to us.

Importantly, the body is doing this as a means of safety - of survival!

Not to cause problems or issues.

The overal biology of the whole being perceives that ACTION itself would be dangerous - and in particular action which is thought about first!

So, we often see that someone who would innately have spent time and effort trying to 'work out' their problems by using a cognitive, intelligent thinking process as a way to overcome their problem or issue, is more likely to suffer from brain fog, than someone who doesn't.

The people who previously sorted their problems by 'thinking' are prone to experience this symptom in hypothyroidism.

This is not about measuring or suggesting that these people are more intelligent, but is representative of the individual persons 'usual' solution to a problem: it identifies that this person may be someone who tries to overcome their issues by thinking vs doing etc.

What happens when we forget?

There are many studies into why we forget - and if the part of our forgetting is connected to short term or long term memory loss. Whether it is permanent or temporary etc.

A great book is "the man who mistook his wife for a hat" - which is full of stories of people who have experienced memory and brain dysfunction.

However, today I would like to just concentrate on what it is like to experience hypothyroid brain fog, and its purpose within the structure of the cause of hypothyroid dysfunction on an energy psychology level.

We are unable to act on anything if our mind is unable to remember what it is we are meant to be doing , or even why we are meant to be doing it.

Biologically in hypothyroidism, the ACT OF FORGETTING means that we are freed from the burden of trying to remember, or trying to 'work out' what we should be doing, when we have already recognised at a much deeper level that we are NOT in a SAFE situation to ACT in any way!

In terms of ACTING in a situation that we perceive as being threatening, the choices we are faced with are either to go into fight or flight, or to go into a 'freeze'.

In any of these situations, it is true that the cognitive function of the brain - intelligent and constructed thinking is switched off in order for the reptilian brain to act on emotion and intuition. When the brain is signalled that a dangerous situation is imminent, it has to work out what it will do to overcome that situation.