Updated: Sep 21, 2021
Today I wanted to talk to you a little bit about overcoming the thought patterns and some of the chronic negative thinking patterns that can become a part of our everyday thoughts and feelings, that can keep us stuck in a negative cycle that perpetuates the way that we see our lives and the way that we feel that we can show up and operate in our life every day.
One of the things that can be difficult to overcome, is this sense, or feeling, that we can’t break the negative cycle of thoughts that seem to bombard us. Sometimes these chronic thoughts can go round and round in our heads, to the point where we are unable to think about or focus on anything else. Sometimes, these thoughts can be so debilitating that they can stop us from getting on and doing the things that we would like to be doing and they certainly can affect our emotions and how we feel as we go through our day.
For many people who have experienced
long-term abusive situations
who may have been in narcissistic relationships
who may have grown up with some person or authority figure having told them that they are somehow not good enough
that they are somehow incapable of achieving what they want to achieve in their lives.
being told that their dreams or desires are not something that they will be able to achieve. That they don’t have the right to achieve those things.
that somebody-elses thoughts, needs and desires are more important than their own...
These people can very often have some very negative ‘self-talk’ which actually, on investigation, is not even their own voice. It will be a voice that has been ‘adopted’ to again and again reinforce the message, reinforce the information that we are not good enough, that we are not worthy, that we do not have the right to a life or to fulfil our own hopes, our own dreams or our own desires.
Self-Talk coming from threatening 'others'
Sometimes that self-talk can come from another person, where we have received that information repeatedly.
That self-talk that we hear has come from people outside of us, where we are in a situation where we are threatened, where we feel unsafe, where we know that if we were to somehow show any interest, or begin to engage in any action where we would follow through on our own thoughts or desires, that it would place us into some position of insecurity, of being unsafe, of placing us in some sort of danger.
Unconscious 'adoption' of our 'group beliefs'
Sometimes, we can take on those thoughts or beliefs from other people completely unconsciously. Because in some way, form or some shape, those beliefs of the other person have been handed on down to them - that they believe that they also are unable to follow through in their own thoughts, their own beliefs or desires. And they too have taken on that belief, perhaps handed down from parent to child: an epigenetic belief system that is handed down from generation to generation where there is a belief that we have to stay within our ownboundaries, inside of our own ‘parapit’, our own safety zone, which is our own ‘home’, culture, our own society, our own (boundaries …)
And we can extend these boundaries in many shapes and forms - but fundamentally there is a belief that we shouldn’t be raising our heads above the parapet. That we shouldn’t be seen to be rising above the position that we have been taught to believe that ‘that’ is where we should exist and that we should not venture beyond that!
So we can take on these beliefs that have been passed on down to us.
Power-play tactics creating negative self-talk
We can take them on from an external ‘other’ person who has enforced their position pf power onto us (as we talked about previously) - in that they will make us believe that we do not have a right to ‘follow through’ in our own life purpose, in our own dreams and desires.
Personal Experiences of failure creating our inner self-talk
We can also even have had experiences in our own life, whereby, when we have tried to follow through on a dream of our own, something that we have acted upon, and then had a negative experience as a result of that. Sometimes we can even ‘create’ the belief, completely from scratch for ourself, that somehow we will not be able to fulfil our own dreams, our own desires.
So you see we can have this coming from multiple areas. Some coming from outside of ourself (from a third party) , sometimes inherited, and sometimes we can ‘create’ that thought or belief completely from our own personal experience.